I used to be a person who was all about rules – it was just easier that way. Everything was black or white, right or wrong, left or right. Then one day, I don’t know how, why or when, it all changed. Suddenly I could see the other side of the argument. Suddenly grey was creeping up everywhere, right-ish and left-ish became words in my dictionary and right and wrong became words that needed to be used together, not an either-or thing. Basically, I became a hippy.
Don’t laugh. You know you think that about me. No, I don’t do drugs, or burn incense, or dance naked under the moon chanting earth prayers. At least that’s what I envisioned hippies doing. I am just learning to be accepting (I don’t think my journey will ever be complete.) And apparently that is not okay with a lot of people. Sorry mom – but the rest of you? Well you didn’t birth me so just deal with it.
Anyhow, I don’t say this lightly, the word hippy. Trust me, I was so sad the day it hit me that with my new acceptance of my fellow man I was now the dreaded hippy my parents had warned against as I grew up. Part of my acceptance is disliking labels. But it’s who I am.
So imagine me, said hippy in the middle of a word war with people whom I love dearly. All of us coming from different perspectives. Flinging he said she said’s at each other. We all got angry at each other, all said things that weren’t nice. I’m left feeling so flummoxed.
I regret that I shot off my mouth when under duress. The old me comes out in spades when I’m mad. I’m sorry is the only thing I have. The new me says you are all right, and we just need to find our equilibrium once again. And then I go and start feeling like a hippy again and it feels a little better, yet still, I’m not digging the label.
So this hippy gone wild is hugely apologetic, but in need of a new label. What do you think? Being I like brightly colored flowing clothing, and I moved frequently for the first 26 years of my life, could we just call me a gypsy instead? That sounds so much better.
Okay then, Gypsy Jennifer signing off, until next time.