Faking It

How many times this season have people asked you how you are doing and you’ve replied “Fine”? All the while whispering “I’m sad,” or “I’m lonely,” or “I’m so cranky I could wrestle a pig.” Oh wait, it’s just me, isn’t it? Those pigs.

It’s hard to look for the happy right now. There are a million beautiful lights all around us, both in spirit and actual real sparkly lights. And yet, nada.

I was doing okay – plugging along, filling in my calendar with party after party. Clickety click, done. Then after attending three of them I looked up and noticed that I’m ready to find that pig to wrestle. Or strangle a scarecrow. Or kick a tractor tire.

Actually, I don’t even know where I could find any of those things.

This makes me crankier.

So how are we supposed to get through this low? I say we because I boldly assume that I’m not alone.

Yes, I’m mainlining vitamin D in vast quantities. B12 is on the agenda but I haven’t started that one yet. I’m going to the gym and staring at pretty people as recommended by my doctor. Oh wait, I think it was just the exercise part… but the other part helps too.

I’m guessing we all just have to dig our heals in, wring our hands and grin like manic car salesmen through this part. Because if we don’t try to be happy, we fail, right? That’s what I just told my daughter. Bunny Wabbit is going through a difficult time too. It doesn’t help that her mom is on the edge of a seasonal nervous breakdown. Oh wait – too late, I think it happened.

The funny part is the crankier I am the more I want to lash out and act like a teenager. Good thing my husband is okay with this ;-). Not that he enjoys having 2.5 teenage girls in the house, but… what’s he gonna do? Nothing like a middle-aged woman acting out. You know, doing graffiti on top of buildings and running with the ganstas.

On second thought, nah – too cold out for this lady right here. For the reals. Otherwise…

Anyhow, I’m faking my smile and I know many of you are as well. I’m dealing with my stress the only way I know how. But I think I can get through this. And you can too, right?

Come on, we have this.

There’s only a little over three weeks left to the other side of the holidays.

Just three weeks.

Sigh.

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3 thoughts on “Faking It

  1. Aaah, I feel your pain. Somewhere along the way I have adopted the good ol’ “Fake it ’til ya make it!” adage. But, on occasion, few people see through the guise I think I have hidden relatively well and I get a text (as I did yesterday) with “U OK?” from a friend. “No…not really.” But based on previous experience, I’ve always made it over, under, or through the pig wrestling eventually. It’s the process of getting out of the mud that sucks.

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